Somedays are just...

Today, was not like other days. Ripped apart by the chaos of life. Some unending memories of times gone by, yet they have not traveled far enough down the road. It is a funny thing, this grief that is tearing away at me, time should close these wounds. It seems like forever ago it happened, it was not a shock or a surprise. I fully knew what was going to happen, or so I thought. I was shocked at what I was asked to do, to take care of...

Why? I was the oldest in the family, or maybe He could not handle it, or waste his time with it. Just a few days before this, I zipped up a body bag, and helped carry her to a hearse. She was so young, and full of life, how could this be? Any small amount of fairness and faith I had left went with her.

The question of humanity has been swilling through my mind, much like a leaf caught by the wind and set adrift. I have mixed grief and humanity together in to a depressing and endless question.

Why, was it so easy for him? I know, the love they shared, in many ways was over and he had already moved on.

Fuck this is not what I wanted to write about tonight, so I think this is enough of my spilling out.